Beautiful Mess

We all have someone who we care about, let alone people that we care about, and every one of us has a unique way in which we express our affection. It can get very messy sometimes when the expectations we have of others and those that others have of us are not congruent. The fact that we are all unique, however, guarantees that every now and then there will be some level of conflict.

For the sake of maintaining our relationships, we need to find a way of working around every conflict we may have with the people we love because best believe, conflict is healthy and its everywhere.

I confidently believe that the strength of any relationship whether romantic or platonic lies in the ability to resolve conflict. Conflict resolution is a skill that we must all develop from early childhood in our families and refine throughout our lives in different relational circles. I believe that the most relationally satisfied people are the ones that have learnt not how to avoid conflict but how to manage it.

If there’s one relational context that should teach us to normalise the presence of conflict and deal with it accordingly, it’s family. Family is where all sorts of petty arguments are born. Its where every ounce of selfishness is expressed. Truly, besides God, no one knows you like your family does. Equipped with the knowledge of every misdeed we are capable of, our family however, seldom gives up on us. That is of course speaking within the boundaries of healthy family relationships.

Within the boundaries of healthy family relationships, it’s relatively easier to resolve conflict. Maybe because we are bound by blood and in a nuclear sense maybe even by living space. So, to a certain degree, one can conclude that we almost have no choice but to resolve conflict with family in order to live in harmony.

As expected, with non-familial relationships, dealing with conflict is a bit more complex. We are not bound by blood, neither are we bound by living space. So, resolving conflict takes that extra bit of intention. Otherwise, we would just resort to letting go of those relationships, which is not always the right thing to do.
Most of us have in mind a bond that went sour because of our inability to manage a conflict that arose. And if we can honestly look back at that situation, we know deep down that there are things that we could have done better. If we were equipped with the right conflict resolution tools, we probably would have handled the situation differently.

Being good at conflict resolution does not guarantee that all our relationships in our life will flourish. It however equips us with an understanding of what’s in our control and what isn’t. It gives us a sense of responsibility over our roles in every unique relationship in our lives. That way, we can eliminate the unnecessary complications that arise due to our mere lack of knowledge of how to handle conflict.

This series is not an infallible collection of advice on conflict resolution but rather a documentation of the things I have learnt, have continued learning and the things I have gleamed from real life experiences and other people. I genuinely hope even just a fraction of this will be somewhat helpful to you. Join me on this journey as we learn how to deal with conflict responsibly!   

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Hey, thanks so much for reaching the end of this post. This is an introduction to a series titled “Beautiful Mess” I hope you’ll find it worth reading!

Be sure to subscribe to this blog so that you’re informed whenever I post and leave a like on this post. Also, I’d like to know what yall’s experiences with managing conflict has been. Do you think you’re good at conflict resolution? let’s have a discussion in the comments! See you in the next one.